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Friday, August 20, 2010

Alpha or Omega?

Today mom and dad have gotten dog-serious. They are reading all of this information about making sure they are Alpha instead of me. Bummer!!! I am so smart that all along they thought they were bosses when I was ruling everything. I shouldn't have gotten so ahead of myself yesterday. Here is what happened.

Yesterday we went to the dog park and there were a few really nice dogs there. They each bowed their heads to me in honourable submission, recognizing me for my absolute amazingness and I was able to prance around quite peacefully....UNTIL these obnoxious creatures dared to venture forth without satisfying my need for them to revere me. They didn't know that I was top rank so I had to do something.

I have to be subtle because otherwise people will think I'm starting fights, and I can't have them know that. I started with some body language that other dogs understand but most people don't. I went up to most irreverent male and held my tail high above my body (wagging it slightly to appease any suspicious humans), perked up my ears and glared at him intensely while trying to put my head over his shoulder. (Its a pretty cute look and can easily fool many humans. )

This is where you'd think he'd just realize that he needed to respond by simply lavishing me with adoration. He was pretty dense though and just ran off. Of course I ran off after him, passed him and cut him off. I wasn't going to allow such insolence, so when he turned and ran the other direction I cut him off again. (Most humans confuse this with play so I figured it was pretty safe.) I did this several times until finally he snapped. (This makes the humans think HE started the fight, so I can avoid getting into trouble.)

Here is how it happened in Dog.

"SCREW off!!!" He barked contemptuously in my face.
"NO--- YOU SCREW OFF!!!" I barked and snarled back, being careful to sound like a victim before adding, "YOU barked at ME first!" I was ready for him when he span around in a defensive posture. I strategically leapt in, hoping the humans thought he attacked me first.

The rest happened too quickly for me to remember. We were both snarling dog curse words which I dare not mention and then Dad grabbed me by the scruff and pulled me off. He held me down in the SUBMISSION POSITION in front of ALL the other was utterly humiliating.

I was surprised when they read through my whole cover. They've been reading stuff like crazy and now, I'm being completely forced out of my alpha position and, believe it or not, they are taking over.

*sigh* Thats part of the reason why this post is so late today. I had to wait until last to use the computer. And check this photo...we now have to wait for an okay to get in or out of the house. (We are leashed in this pic, but its like that even when we're not leashed.)

Here are some of the sites they've been reading. Maybe you can back me up and tell them its junk...or if you think I need this, please tell me gently--my pride still hurts.
While you're at it, tell me...what position do you have? Alpha or Omega?


  1. Oh poor Emerald! That's bad news, and I'm sure you don't like not being Alpha Dog. I guess you can be Beta though... right?

    Cuddles and licks,
    Love Miley xxx

  2. Oh, and since you are wondering what position I'm in, well, not the Alpha. I'm obedient to everyone, but am comfortable being the companion how cuddles every one. :)
    It really isn't so bad Emerald, it'll be OK.

  3. Thanks Miley. I guess you're right. I do kind of feel safer already, just knowing I don't have to be in charge.


*Wags tail* Thanks for stopping for a sniff. Leave your paw print so I know you were here!